Friday, Mar 27th

Last update:05:18:56 PM GMT

Apple's New Product iPad = iFail

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I was one of the geekerati who was all breathless over the prospect of a new Apple toy.  Rumours of Apple's new creation made it feel like the second coming of apple pie.  But after the news conference and showing of Apple's iPad, I am now convinced that this new toy is more like the second coming of the Yugo.  Sigh.

Oh Steve, how could you have let us down so?  First, there's the name.  iPad?  Really?  I get it.  Apple wants to keep the them going...iTunes, iPhone, iPod...but iPad?  Ummm, no.  Leaves way too many openings for unfunny jokes. 

Second, how it looks.  It looks like a giant iPhone.   A giant iPhone, without the important bit...a phone.

Third and finally is the whole list of things the iPad can't do.  This thing is surely not a notebook killer:

  • There's no phone.  Did I say again there's no phone?  What's the use of settling for the un-notebook without phone features?  Ummm...none.  It would have been super damn cool to be able to say, have a headphone in your ear listening to music on your iPad while surfing the web and then have an incoming call with the caller id show up in a little window on the screen, you could click over for a break in the music but not the other tasks to talk on the phone.  I guess I can keep dreaming.
  • You can't multi-task.  That's right, that means no emailing and web surfing, no music listening and surfing, no....you get the idea.  The iPad cannot chew gum and walk at the same time.
  • No camera.  No respectable netbook comes without a webcam, so why does the iPad?
  • The browser on the iPad can't handle Flash animations.  What does that mean?  No flash ad banners while you're browsing the web, but also no Bejewled gaming or online poker either, and we know how much that sucks.
  • Apple applications only.  That's right, only applications from the Apple app store can be installed. Can you say restrictions, monopoly and reduced functionality? I think you can.

So Apple wants to charge the base price of $499 to have a gadget with their name on it that doesn't do most of the stuff we want it to...sounds like a gadget for people with too much money and too little brain cells. I think I'll stick with my netbook, which does everything on the list above and only cost $299. I'm just sayin'

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