Prince William got caught by a pap giving a golden shower to a fence during one of his polo match and you can see his royal turtle smiling for the cameras. Actually, I think it's frowning. It wants some fucking privacy. And you can tell Prince William is a royal, because he holds his peen all classy-like. He probably shakes it with his pinky up.

If these were pictures of Prince Hot Ginge, I'd probably be running to the hospital, because my genitals would have exploded. Although, I doubt a pap could ever get a clear picture of Hot Ginge's peen. His ginge pubies are so shiny and magnificent that they blind cameras. Bitches have to wear cataract glasses when going down on him.

Anyway, Prince Willy's willy is after the jump. Don't lick the screen please. That could be dangers. JUMP!!!

On May 21, 2008, David Cook became our next "American Idol." It is also the day that the lives of these tween girls came crashing down on them destroying their will to go on!

Well, not all the girls were tortured by the news that Fetus Archuleta lost. The Aero Surf girl is awesome. She's basically laughing at all of their asses on the inside, but realizes that if the other girls find out, they will turn on her and eat her alive. So she quickly plays along. She's totally a secret David Cook fan.

When one of the girls screams "That loser doesn't even shave," you know Aero Surf wanted to shout, "Well, that mouth breather hasn't lost all his baby teeth yet!"

I shouldn't make fun of these girls, because this was basically my reaction every time that dumb bitch Kristy Lee Cook made it to the next round. It will also be my reaction when the Live Feed Puppies go off the Internet.

P.S. - Only winners shave. Remember that.

Source VIA Best Week Ever

Thanks Callan

Pamela Anderson must really want a position in Obama's cabinet, because she wrote an open letter to him on her blog stating all the things she thinks he should make happen when he officially becomes president.

Pam wants him to order the castration of all child molesters and she also wants him to legalize marijuana. The last part is the greatest thought that has ever come out of Pamela Anderson's head. Ever.

She wrote: "I think we should Legalize Marijuana, tax and monitor -farm Hemp etc-this would make our borders less corrupt and then I think eventually this will be more secure option and save children in the long run – we should be able to farm Hemp in America- it’s just silly— it would create jobs- and be good for environment."

Is Courtney Love working part-time as Pamela Anderson's transcriber? Anyway, I agree with the legalize part, but disagree about the tax shit. It should be tax free. It's a medical necessity for some of us! I also agree that it will save the children from listening to their parents scream at them. Think about it. When your kid starts acting all annoying and loud, just give them a LEGAL joint. It will calm them down, they'll fall asleep and you won't have to yell at them. Everyone will walk away happy. Pam is a genius!

She forgot to add one thing to her list of things Obama should do as president: BAN PAMELA ANDERSON!!!

Shane Mercado and Beyonce have both been dethroned as the reigning Sasha Fierce! Cubby from 96.1 The Beat in Charlotte has shown them both exactly how it's done. Just keep your eyes up while watching. Don't look down. Trust me. Don't look at his fromagerie area. It will cause your eyes to go into seizures and your brain will start asking a million questions. You will wake up in the middle of the night screaming, "Why does it look like the Elephant Man's face down there?" Just watch his hot moves from the torso up.

And even the camera knows this shit it's hot. It's shaking its ass with him.

Thanks Taalsi

Katie Price launched her line of lingerie today in England and brought her 3-year-old son Junior with her. She wanted Harvey to come along instead, because more people show up when he's around, but he won't have anything to do with that whorey shit.

I'm not a mommy or anything, but isn't 3 a little too young to highlight your kid's hair? When I 5 I told my mom I wanted blonde hair. She handed me a yellow t-shirt and told me to wear that shit over my head. I did and I thought I looked like Barbie. I'm easily fooled.

Maybe Katie and Peter probably thought the highlights would compliment his future spray tan, earring and tattoo arm band. He'll get those things next year.

The Road Runner is still bad, because Alien Princess RiRi refuses to give him his 'do back. Winter is coming and he's going to have a cold head. That's sad and hurtful. In addition to still wearing the Road Runner's stolen hair on her head, she also got a new tattoo.......

At last night's UNICEF Snowflake Lighting Ceremony in NYC, RiRi explained to People about the meaning of the new tattoo on her claw, "It's tribal. It represents strength and love. It hurt like hell!"

Um. Alien Princesses do not feel pain. That tattoo also doesn't represent strength and love. It's some kind of message to her home planet or some shit. She's already got the map to her planet on her back. I'm convinced that all her 10,000 tattoos are like pieces to a puzzle and when they are all complete, her alien subjects will come to earth and finally make us all her slaves. Yes, I watched "Stargate" recently.

Below is RiRi at that Gucci party last night and then at the Snowflake Lighting Ceremony earlier in the evening.

Hand me my shank, some artist-type is fucking with our Crackie of Camden. Nobody fucks with Wino, but us! We're the only ones allowed to make fun of her ass! Can you believe this shit right here? Artist Marco Perego created of a statue of Wino, dead in a pool of blood. There's a statue of William Burroughs near her, carrying a gun. It is selling for $100,000. Good fucking luck selling that mess.

The hos at NYC's Half Gallery said Marco made it as a tribute to Wino and Burroughs. They explained this shit: "In September of 1951, William Burroughs, playing a dangerous game of William Tell, shot his wife Joan Vollmer in the head and killed her. This sculpture is a re-creation of that event which is conflating timelines and literary history to create something that's fantasy but is totally lifelike."

Lifelike?! Wino hasn't looked like that for years. The sculpture is too clean, too fat and Wino wouldn't be caught dead (pardon the pun) with nails that shiny and new looking! She doesn't leave the house unless her fingers are covered in crack dirt and ciggie smoke. And what the hell kind of GD outfit is that?! Is that Wino or a soccer mom? And I'm going to pretend I'm not looking at that Minnie Mouse mask. That shit should've been a box of ice pops instead.

There's no need to get my shank. This obviously isn't our Wino!

Source

Karolina Kurkova doesn't have a belly button. I bet her bikini briefs ate it, because it looks like it's moved on to eating her crotch - IDLYITW

Whitney Port gets a little help from a really hot lady (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Hugh Jackman needs to lose the hat - Lainey Gossip

James Franco is not afraid to play gay twice - Towleroad

Hot sexy piece of man meat in Barcelona - Popsugar

Excuse you if "Friends" is not your thing! - Just Jared

The paps still take pictures of Jerry Seinfeld's old piece - Egotastic!

What did I tell you, Panatroll? Cover it up! - Hollywood Tuna

If ScarJo gets pregnant, her boobies will ask for a transfer - Hollywood Rag

The sad part is that I'd probably hit every single of them - Cityrag

Thanks Ray

Winona Ryder was rushed to the hospital from Heather yesterday after she had some kind of medical issue while on the plane. Her PR bitch kept their lips shut about what Winona's damage was. One of my suspicions was that Winona swallowed too many beautiful dolls. The Daily Mail claims that's exactly what happened.

According to them, Winona passed out twice after taking too many Xanax pills. Winona was taken to the hospital, but released an hour later and is doing fine now.

Everybody knows you're not supposed to pop Xanax like its Tylenol PM! If you're too scared to fly in an airplane, just chop up one Xanax and one Ambien, snort that up, drink a few glasses of red wine, recline your seat, put on some headphones and let "The Piano" soundtrack serenade you to a deep sleep. I love "The Piano" soundtrack.