Doors Open, Boys!

Thank God the Californians decided to pass Proposition 8 and write discrimination into their constitution. This is what we Republicans have been waiting for. And now we have it.

And now it's time to get a little of the other things we have wanted for a long time.

So I am going to start several petitions in the state of California to put a couple of other proposals on the ballot in California next election.

How about Proposition X: marriage is between a white man and a white woman. I like this one. You know we Republicans always want to bring the country back to the Leave It to Beaver days. And you thought we just wanted white picket fences? Well, you got the white right. You know not only were kids better behaved in the 1950's, but most blacks really couldn't vote, marry who they wanted, live or work where they wanted, or have any say in society. I miss the good old days.

And then there is Poposition M: marriage is between a non-Mormon man and a non-Mormon woman. How is that for backstabbing? All you nut jobs in Salt Lake thought we were your friends? Hah! We used you, and now we are taking our revenge on you magic underpants wearing screwballs.

But my favorite is Proposition S: it's legal to own people again. I've always wanted this one. After all, my family had to actually work for a living after Mr. Lincoln stole all our property. I bet the 70% of you blacks who voted for Proposition 8 feel a little stupid now. Wait until I get myself a nice black buck to while away the hours.

Thank you for opening the door for all kinds of crazy discrimination. And maybe I can finally get rid of a couple of thorns in my side like Governor Schwarzenegger and Arianna Huffington. Proposition A will make it illegal for anyone with an annoying accent to be a resident of California.

The bitch is baaaack!

The Bitch Is Back

The election is over, and Blanca is finally unleashed, like Oprah, able to go back to her own neo-con self.

Over the past several months the prospect of John McCain in the White House sent shivers down the spine of every God-fearing, everyone-else hating conservative in this country. We figured if McCain took over from George W. Bush, he would do something that would taint our beloved Decider's legacy.

Thank God for Sarah Palin. I was worried we would be faced with a President RINO, but then God smiled upon us and gave us the most incompetent, least intelligent Wasilla hillbilly from the Great White North, and we were saved from four years of disastrous rule.

Our beloved Commander Guy has been the bestest President ever. I mean he handed Barack Obama and the Democrats the best economy in 20 years, and look at what's happened. In less than a week we now have 7% unemployment, a stock market tanking, record foreclosures and bank failures, an auto industry about to evaporate, and a quagmire in Iraq. Wow, who says black men aren't productive?

Yes, four years of Democrats, and the country will be just begging to go back to Republican rule. I mean look at how good the economy was in 1992 when Clinton stole the election from Commander Guy, Sr. And then Clinton drove the economy so far into the ground that just eight short years later, more people voted for George W. Bush than Al Gore and gave Dear Leader a mandate.

I agree with Rush Limbaugh. This is no landslide. Fewer people voted this year than ever before in the history of mankind. And I agree with my friend Sean Hannity, who pointed out that the Republicans lost because they weren't conservative enough.

Just wait until 2012, when we will come back strong, with even farther right candidates than we ran before. You think Santorum was loonie, wait until you meet the new batch of crackpots we have waiting in the wings at Regent University. Be afraid, be very afraid.

So the old bitch is back. I got what I wanted: a Raison d'être. I don't think; I read the talking points, therefore I am Republican.

It's good to be back.

Blanca Takes a Break

Blanca is going to take a break for a while.  This whole election thing has exhausted her.

In a little while she will return.

Barack Obama Wins! Barack Obama is the 44th President!

Obama is the 44th President of the United States of America.

Blanca Is Facedown in a Puddle of Her Own Sick

Things are progressing very fast tonight for Barack Obama. Although I had hoped the election would have been called by this point so I could order my 5 call boys to suction out all the excess fat and put me to bed for the evening, what I am seeing seems to indicate that Obama will be the 44th President.

Right now Obama has 207 electoral votes to McCain's 135. Virginia, Indiana, North Carolina, Colorado, and Florida have yet to be called. But it is looking more and more like Obama will be the frist black President, after Morgan Freeman and Dennis Haysbert.

Obama: 81; McCain: 34

Obama now has 81 electoral votes to McCain's 34.

Obama Wins New Hampshire

CNN now projects Obama will win New Hampshire and her 4 electoral votes.

Obama Wins Maine

CNN projects Obama will win Maine, but since Maine is one of two states to split their electoral votes, right now Obama has 2 to McCain's 1. If Maine goes anything like 2000 or 2004, then Obama will end up with all 4 of her electoral votes.

Obama: 77; McCain: 34

So far Obama leads in the Electoral College with 77 votes to McCain's 34.

McCain Wins Oklahoma

CNN projects John McCain will win Oklahoma and her 7 electoral votes.

McCain Wins Tennessee

CNN projects John McCain will win Tennessee and her 11 electoral votes.

Obama Wins Illinois

CNN projects Barack Obama will win Illinois and her 21 electoral votes.

Obama wins Washington, D.C.

CNN projects Obama will win Washington, DC, and her 3 electoral votes.