This coming Monday - big announcement from Jon and Kate! Hmmmm, let see - he's depressed, she's controlling, he's wants to spend time away from her, she like to travel the talk circuit - alone. And in the midst of all that - the paparrazzis are all over them like flies on raw, festering meat during a hot summer day.
(CNN) -- With ratings sagging for TLC's "Jon & Kate Plus 8," the cable channel is teasing viewers with the revelation that "Jon & Kate have an announcement."
The reality show's regularly scheduled episode will be pre-empted by a one-hour "special" Monday night, according to a TLC promotional spot released Thursday.
"Recently, we've made some life-changing decisions, decisions that will affect every member of our family, ones that we hope will bring each of us some peace," Kate Gosselin says in the video promo.
As she speaks, these words cross the screen: "A family in turmoil ... A relationship at a crossroads ... Where do they go from here?"
The show chronicles the life of Jon and Kate Gosselin and their eight children -- sextuplets and twins.
The show's fifth season debuted last month to record ratings, but dropped off to its previous season average in the third episode, which aired this week, according to The Hollywood Reporter.
The season opened amid tabloid reports accusing Jon of cheating with a 23-year-old, which Kate said she did not believe.
"We, as you know, have a reality show. Everyone wants to know everything about us," she told CNN's Larry King last month. "And I feel like this is a situation, you know, you can't believe everything that you read ... and so we are dealing with it privately." Link
So - what is this Life-Changing announcement? It is not hard to guess but the Big D!
Yes - every talk show, every news media are all buzzing around town that the 2 are heading to Divorce Court. Kate has already met a divorce lawyer and Jon is willing and eager to sign the dotted line! The pen is already in his hand.
DIVORCE!
Yes - the D word that can easily break the holy sanctity of marriage. Wipe the slate clean. Restart anew! The Institute of Marriage will be re-instituted!
Hmmmm - now where's the Gay Element???
They say Gays and Gay Marriages would destroy the very fabric of society and holy straight matrimony. I don't recall seeing a Gay on any of the episodes. Was it the interior designer that appeared on one of the past episodes? Maybe it's Kate's studio hairdresser?! Or - maybe one of their 8 kids is Gay and just not out yet. Ah Ha, there you have it. The missing gay link. This has to be the root that broke up Jon and Kate!
Yes - those pesty unholy, fornicating, detestable Gays have struck again! Another straight Marriage destroyed! Damn them!
Forget couples counseling, we need to institute and pass Prop 8 in the State of Pennsylvania to save Jon & Kate's Marriage! Do it quickly if you want to see another season of the loving couple with 8 kids.
Now with that being said ..... tune in to J & K this coming Monday!
We'll be watching!
